The little dieing girl

I know a girl who is dieing. She has cancer. She is very young and she’s had cancer for four years now. Initially they found out she was dieing and they thought they got it early. You really need to get cancer early, from what I hear, if you are to have any luck. So, they found out that she had cancer and they started their treatment and they thought that they were done. The little girl came back to her old life and tried to start over.

She had a lot of all clears before her cancer came back. I don’t know much about such things, but it seems to me that I would be deeply optimistic if I ever had cancer and then was given the all clear. I would think that lightning doesn’t strike in the same place twice. But I would be wrong and so was the little dieing girl, for lightning did strike the same place twice and the little dieing girl had cancer again. They tried again and again they thought they had got it. Apparently, they did a great new treatment that was proven to be very successful. Or so they thought. They did the treatment, they took off the little girl’s liver (or most of it), but I am not sure if they knew what they were doing. In short, the little girl was some sort of a guinea pig.

Lightnings have a soft spot for girls, it seems and her illness came back yet again. But the little girl is tired. She doesn’t want to fight anymore. She wants to live a normal life, she goes to work and doesn’t take time off. She gets angry with her mother because ‘she keeps staring’ at her.

I wonder what the little dieing girl feels. Does she know she’s dieing? If yes, how does she live with this? Does she want to pretend that everything is normal and death can find her in her chair and her desk, working? Should she go for a holiday, so death can find her by a beach? Is there ANY good way of dieing? Are you supposed to settle your accounts and then go somewhere and die silently? I have no clue.

Some people have problems in their lives and some others just pretend to. Nobody can say, ah other people are dieing here, so I should be happy all the time and not regard my problems as real problems. But stories like this, do put your life into perspective.