Reading old diaries can be so depressing: the inadequacies of your older self, presented before you in magnificent glory; the terribly banal old "loves"; the intensity of the drama, even in cases where you now know how stupid it all was...
But most of all this fantastically clear understanding of the past in the comfort of the present: "in retrospect..." what a great phrase. What a great concept. We are all so wise, so cool "in retrospect". We are all insightful historians, we are all profound thinkers, in hindsight. We all analyse the past in such a clear way. What am I saying, it is clear!
And therein lies the drama: why are we all so so clever after all the drama has passed, but never during?
And why do 16(or even 17, 20, 25)-year old girls go through everything as if it is such a drama?
My 35-year old self cannot find a respectable answer to that.
And now back to my old diaries, perhaps they will give me another clue.
But most of all this fantastically clear understanding of the past in the comfort of the present: "in retrospect..." what a great phrase. What a great concept. We are all so wise, so cool "in retrospect". We are all insightful historians, we are all profound thinkers, in hindsight. We all analyse the past in such a clear way. What am I saying, it is clear!
And therein lies the drama: why are we all so so clever after all the drama has passed, but never during?
And why do 16(or even 17, 20, 25)-year old girls go through everything as if it is such a drama?
My 35-year old self cannot find a respectable answer to that.
And now back to my old diaries, perhaps they will give me another clue.
