Saturday 4 April 2009

Convergence/Narcissism

It always amazes me the sameness of couples. They all look alike, as if they're participating in incestuous illegal unions. When they are younger, they dress alike, a goth with a goth, a raver with a raver. Middle aged tacky men with sleezy hair with middle aged tacky women with pink suitcases. When couples get older they look even more spookily alike, not just like two people who are similar but essentially two people who grew to become the same. You start off like a normal person and then you become a tartan-loving woman, with a tartan-loving man, part of a tartan-loving pair, that makes people sick.

People often say this is inevitable, some even say it's good if couples look like each other: it seems they're compatible.

I think such human traits,this morbing longing for sameness only unveils a tendency towards narcissism: I love you because you look like me, sort of thing.

Is this true and are people truly incapable of liking (and appreciating and loving) anything that looks remotely different to themselves? Who can appreciate being different these days?

1 comment:

Youkali said...

This couples-looking-alike thing is truly scary. I don't know if it is narcissism or this desire to find someone who can tell you who you are and how to behave, so that you don't have to think. If you lose your identity, you can give your brain a rest. And what I find in the couples I know is that it is so easy to give up a bit of your identity, if not all. I don't even know if you can remain exactly who you are if you're part of a couple because the whole point of a relationship is that you understand your partner and share and change and evolve and all that. It usually just means sitting at home watching TV or cleaning the house or clean after your kids.
It is really so scary. Is there a way of being happy as part of a couple and not giving yourself up, or not wear matching clothes? I do hope so.