The same but different

I've always been partly scared of changes in life. I guess this is why I became an academic: I just prolonged my student experience as much as I could, until I was the ultimate student, living in the University and reading books and writing essays for a living. Genius.

Now, when important things happened to me, like for example my husband asking me to marry him, I did have a feeling of panic for a bit. Along with the feeling of immense love and being emotional, and relief (finally someone wants to marry me), I also felt a mild panic: and now what? Does this mean I'm an adult? Does this mean, we are different? Does this mean our relationship is different, or needs to feel different?

The nicest thing about getting engaged and married was not feeling different: I loved him the same and our relationship was a bit different after all that, but really the same.

So, as life goes on, and things change and panic occasionally ensues, I like to remember what Youkali always tells me: you're still yourself, in any new, scary, unchartered situation you find yourself in, you're still yourself. Life goes in cycles and things change, but the fact of the matter is that you're still yourself: young or old, married or single, alone or with friends, with children or without, you're still yourself.

The same but different.