I've been living outside Greece for 10 years now. Seems too much sometimes if you ask me. When I first left I never thought whether that was for ever, or when I would come back. Now of course, my return seems more and more unlikely and doubtful. I live here, I work here, my fiancé is from here. Most probably I will never be able to get a job in Greece anyway.
Financial crisis aside, I often feel out of place when I go back to Greece. People shout a lot. They drive like mad. They smoke everywhere. People put too ugh oil when they cook (whereas I have to count it...) Nothing works properly. And so on and so forth. These, of course, are stupid generalisations, but I am Greek myself so I can make them, and entirely unapologetically so. My father jokes with me often when I complain, sometimes with a hidden bitterness in his voice "why are you complaining, are you not Greek yourself?"
Sure, I am, I think. but not a real Greek surely, at least not anymore. I have been too bastardised by living in these western lands for so long.
Sometimes however, I miss my Greekness. I want to sing again, I want to dance trashy eurovison songs (Paparizou - my number one, anyone?) and go to μπουζούκια. I want to eat σουβλάκια for dinner in the warm summer outdoors. I want to stroll in the heat. I want to eat καρπούζι till I feel entirely bloated. I want to sweat so much from the heat, that I cannot put any make up on whatsoever. I want to listen to my favourite radio shows in real time. I want to watch trashy and not so trashy TV (Το νησί rules! I found it so late...) I want to know who is big in Greece these days, which songs do kids like. I want to buy Korres stuff from my local pharmacy. I want to go to my local bar and have a beer. I want to feel Greek again, I want to feel myself.
People change. Our lives change. I think I've written it before here in this blog: am I the same person I was when I was 19, living in Crete, listening to stereo nova and reading 01? Maybe. Partly. Maybe not. Yesterday I was dancing to Greek trash in my oh so proper office and it felt so out of place really, it was comical. But I felt myself again, and it was fucking fun.
Can't wait for the summer.
Financial crisis aside, I often feel out of place when I go back to Greece. People shout a lot. They drive like mad. They smoke everywhere. People put too ugh oil when they cook (whereas I have to count it...) Nothing works properly. And so on and so forth. These, of course, are stupid generalisations, but I am Greek myself so I can make them, and entirely unapologetically so. My father jokes with me often when I complain, sometimes with a hidden bitterness in his voice "why are you complaining, are you not Greek yourself?"
Sure, I am, I think. but not a real Greek surely, at least not anymore. I have been too bastardised by living in these western lands for so long.
Sometimes however, I miss my Greekness. I want to sing again, I want to dance trashy eurovison songs (Paparizou - my number one, anyone?) and go to μπουζούκια. I want to eat σουβλάκια for dinner in the warm summer outdoors. I want to stroll in the heat. I want to eat καρπούζι till I feel entirely bloated. I want to sweat so much from the heat, that I cannot put any make up on whatsoever. I want to listen to my favourite radio shows in real time. I want to watch trashy and not so trashy TV (Το νησί rules! I found it so late...) I want to know who is big in Greece these days, which songs do kids like. I want to buy Korres stuff from my local pharmacy. I want to go to my local bar and have a beer. I want to feel Greek again, I want to feel myself.
People change. Our lives change. I think I've written it before here in this blog: am I the same person I was when I was 19, living in Crete, listening to stereo nova and reading 01? Maybe. Partly. Maybe not. Yesterday I was dancing to Greek trash in my oh so proper office and it felt so out of place really, it was comical. But I felt myself again, and it was fucking fun.
Can't wait for the summer.
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