Tricky was right?

Life doesn't move me - just like a movie
It doesn't move me
Life doesn't move me (Tricky, Bury the evidence)

Sometimes i feel like Tricky: my life goes by and I don't feel it. Good things happen, people come and spend time with me, I talk to friends but i am not 100% there. i live life, i perceive life in a superficial manner: I hear my friends problems and i feel them (sort of), i give advice, i am relatively connected, but not with all my heart, half my mind resides elsewhere. Half my mind travels to stuff i need to do for tomorrow, work that needs done, what i'll cook for dinner etc...

I never thought I lacked empathy, I always thought that I can leave my things aside and just listen to my friends. But this is not even about empathy, this half-hearted involvement with life does not only happen when i listen to people's problems. It happens also with nice things, i am hanging out with a friend and I am not all there. Half my mind is elsewhere.

But where, you will ask, where is a better place to be than in a pub having a drink with people you love/like and make you feel well? I guess in my head, being in work-mode seems to be a better place. But this cannot be true. It's not that I prefer this - i just cannot help it. But this is what I want to, what I have to change. Work and stress and stupid stuff is not something that can dictate my life to such an extent. When I was young(er) I thought that people chose to be stressed. Now that i find myself not being able to help it, I think it is even more important to at least try to.

My life is more important than this.
The love I have for people is more profound than this.

Life needs to move me - not like a movie.
Life needs to move me.
Not like movie.