Grow up

The sole purpose of this post is to make me feel better. I always felt that writing is therapeutic, so now is the time to put this to the ultimate test.

I've always been a good girl, I hate confrontation, and very often in order to avoid it I even lie. If a friend invites me to dinner and I don't feel like going, I might lie in order not to say to the other person "I can't come, because I don't feel like it". Society seems to like this, it's calling these excuses "white lies" or something. But they are shit, mostly because they make people weak, stupid, avoiding confrontation at all cost. So when you actually have to confront something, you cannot because you are not able to, you have never done it.

I have a manipulative person in my life, who has managed to manipulate me into a role that I do not want to assume.

Initially, I could deal with this, because I can deal with everything seemingly, I just grin and bear it.

I now find myself into a situation where it is impossible for me to function, because the role that I am forced to play is not feasible anymore.

The only answer to my problem is to confront this person and explain that I cannot do this anymore. This is the only possible, logical and right thing to do. Yet, I am finding it hard. Why?

All my life, whenever I had to do something like this, I shied away from it, I took another road. I stayed silent and waited for the problem to disappear. Sometimes this worked, sometimes it didn't.

This time, this is definitely NOT going to work; the manipulation is too big.

So I have to speak up. Will I do this?

You fucking better believe I will. Because, maybe now, at the age of 33, it is (maybe; just maybe) the time to finally grow up.

Grow up.
Speak up for yourself.
No one else will.