Reserve

Yesterday, I was in an Italian café and I saw a poster on the wall; it was a poster with various movies from the golden age of the Italian cinema: Otto e mezzo by Felini, Blow up by Antonioni, Riso amarro, Dolce vita, la Ciocarra etc. I looked at it closely and realized that I had not seen any of these movies. Not one. Initially, I thought I could lie if anyone asked me, I could say yes, I’ve seen one or two, but it was a long time ago and I don’t remember them very well. Or I could also say that I fell asleep while watching them, that is always a good excuse when pretending to have seen a movie.

Then, I got very ashamed of myself: I like cinema and I take pride in thinking that I know a lot about. How is it possible, then, for me not to have seen any of these movies? My next impulse was to go and buy them all immediately and watch them as quickly as possible, so I would not be ashamed and not have to lie in an imaginary conversation, if anyone asked me if I had seen these movies.

Then, however, I thought that maybe it was good that I hadn’t seen any of these movies: I felt a warm feeling inside me, that there is an intellectual stimulation that I have never used. Like when I was younger, when I bought a book and wouldn't read it, I would keep it on the shelf to read at a later stage, when I felt like it. It was reassuring to know that, if I wanted to read a good book, I had one sitting on my shelf. It was the same reassuring feeling that tells you that you have a friend, if you need one.

Italian cinema for me then, is a reserve friend. If one time I feel the need for some intellectual stimulation, I'll get all these movies and watch them.